It follows you for more than half of your life, creeping in the shadows, it’s only partner, death.
It has no feelings,
it does not discriminate,
it does what it wants without remorse, and what it wants is to devour us.
It has taken from me some very special people, whom I have loved very much.
It has taken from me my Great Grandfather when I was just a baby.
It has taken from me my Grandfather when I was very young.
It has taken from me my Grandmother when I was a young man.
Fifteen years ago it came back into my life and took my Mother, and that fucking hurt a lot.
Now as the tears roll down my face, the bastard is back again, causing unbelievable pain in mine and my family’s lives.
It touches us with reckless abandon, and cares not about the pain it leaves in its wake.
It’s name is cancer and has now come for my older brother, and to be honest, I am really sick of seeing this fucker come and go whenever it feels like.
My brother lives a few hours from me, and tomorrow my family and I will make the trip to yet another hospital to see him after his surgery.
My brother and I have not seen each other in some time, not by design mind you, but because that’s just how we are.
It is really hard to see my youngest daughter (who has only seen her uncle a few times in her life) breaking down, and me having to lie to her, and tell her that it will be all right, because it will be fucking far from all right.
My brother went from having to have a biopsy, to having to go straight into an oncology unit, and needing surgery to have a tube put in him to continuously drain the fluid from his lungs.
Cancer has not been kind to my family,
it has called too many times on my family,
and not one of my relatives that became ill with it has survived it.
My mother whom I can see crying when I close my eyes, was diagnosed and died within six months.
I was with her when she took her last breath in this world.
The greatest accomplishments in my life are my two daughters,
ironically, my greatest disappointment is that neither one of my girls ever got to meet their Grandmother,
all because cancer decided to come for her when she was just 55 years old.
In a lot of my posts, I say I come up swinging when I get knocked down,
and I do every single time.
I am really tired of being knocked down, especially by cancer,
so I am going to just be here swinging.
I have decided that my girls and my wife will not experience cancers brutal and callous ways on me.
I was a lifelong smoker since the age of 12 I am now 43, that is 31 years that I have smoked.
It is enough,
I am done.